i wish there was like, a save option for this xtools shit. don't u think so?
i mean, like just now, i finished typing 2 pages worth of update to update my un-updated xanga, and then this swarm of pop ups start popping up, and im like trying to close all of them, and then accidentally closed the xtools window, as well as 2 pages worth of update. i feel like grabbing my hair and tearing it out. what's left of my hair anywaes.
the second thing i wish is that my hair could grow back.
anyhow, i can't remember exactly what i wrote just now, cuz i write things as they pop to mind, like pop-ups XD. anyway different things pop to mind at different times cuz of the different moods i am in. take for example juz now im like pissed cuz my parents didnt let me go out today. now im still pissed but not as pissed as before see? so i can't write with an equally pissed tone. and sometimes....what's that? okokok, i'll get on with it.
here's what i remember vaguely. fingers crossed, die u pop ups, here i go.
now.
just now, at around what, 3 o'clock?, i was online on msn, and realised to my dismay that there were less people online than i had fingers. that's less than 10! if i have 10 fingers, that is. anyway i do have 10 fingers wtf am i talking abt.
ok, so theres like an unusually low number of people online and to make matters worse, 50% of them are either BUSY or AWAY. why's that u might ask. it's not 2:38 in the morning. it's freaking 3 o'clock! this is why damnit. everyone is out. everyone is out because it's a freaking half day of school. everyone. except me.
its not that i don't wanna go out. i had a choice of 3 places to go to today. 3 places. excluding home. and there i was. i mean, here i am. sitting at home. the fourth option. only it isn't an option cuz i was forced to by my parents. yea, forced to. go ahead, laugh ur asses off. i've been officially grounded for the first ever time in my life. at the ripe...old/young? age of 15. don't give me that 'o you're so lucky that u werent grounded earlier' look. i'll tell u why in a while.
but first, the entire reason behind this diablolical plot to rid me of my teenage normalcy. i didnt burn down the flat. i didnt rob the liquour store. i didnt destroy the neighbours door, OR their cat for that matter. although i do have some wicked ideas formulating. the truth is that:
that i didn't get on the honour roll last year.
no kidding. i mean, if i wasn't the main character, it would make a great joke. but why u want to know. why the hell would my parents keep me in cuz i didn't do well enough to get some stupid commendation from some dude who runs the school?
simple.
I am Singaporean. They are Singaporean. We are in Hong Kong. I have adapted to Hong Kong. They are Singaporean.
For non-singaporeans, allow me to explain.
here be the life of the average sg teenager on a school day.
alarm clock rings at 5:30 in the morning, they wake up. they wear their spectacles and part their center parting. they rush a breakfast and rush to school. then they rush through their homework or rather copy their friend's work, preferably two or more different friends to have variation, then get ready to sing the national anthem and school song. school commences. they sit at their desks the whole day listening to teachers teach. time passes in bullet time. before you know it, it's recess. they head downstairs and line up in an orderly manner to purchase food to eat, otherwise the prefects will haul them to the principals office where they are humiliated in front of the other evil doers of the school. class resumes. different teachers teach again in bullet time. note that in this bullet time, you move slowly as well, so u can forget about leaving the classroom without anybody noticing. also, to get out of school you have to pass a room full of trip mines and invisible motion sensors that would trigger of a chain of vulcan machine guns that would fire at will. all these things disappear when school ends so nobody knows about it and only i know about it coz my friend harry tried to ditch school one day and that was the last time i saw him alive. come to think of it, i never saw him dead either. but back to business. school ends later, they head for the bus stop and go home. they turn on IRC and ICQ, rarely MSN and do their homework in front of the computer before going to sleep. the process repeats itself.
but while their child is at school, what do the parents do?
alarm clock rings slightly later at 6. father wakes up and goes off to work. he does not return until later. mother gets up earlier to prepare breakfast. unless they have a maid. but no matter. mother sees everyone off and then goes to play neopets or whatever it is housewives do when nobody's around. some even claim they do housework! and people actually believe them, what is the world coming to? anyhow for those who do work, they head off to work. now one has to be careful with these workplaces. most of the colleagues are devils in disguise. some don't even bother with disguises. these are more commonly known as bosses. anyhow, the mothers go to work where all these other devils try to twist her mind against her child. they tell her how wonderful their own child is, how their own child rocks at every subject and is a f*cking einstein who can do any test and score above 90%. we've all met these kinda people right? yup. then you've met the devil himself. or herself. doesnt matter. the truth is, 51% of the time, these people are bullshiting cuz their kid happens to be a primary school dropout who smokes pot and gets into gangfights and eventually joins a real triad when they hit 16 and then die cuz of lung cancer. but anyhow, the mother goes home and canes the kid screaming how I ca-- i mean, how the kid can't perform and shit. and then the kid screams that he'll do better if she just stop hitting him and then she stops. apparently they hate doing it but its for my ow--i mean the kid's own good.
that's all i can recollect from just now. but anyway, my point is that singaporean parents only value academic results.
yea, all u international school people might say its just a piece of paper, u can burn it, cut it, wipe ur ass with it and it doesnt matter. but in singapore its different. you need it to survive. without it, you are nothing. thats what im screwing up by living in hongkong. thats what most of u dont understand.
people are always telling me to loosen up, you know, like sleep over, chill out, igcse doesnt matter, relax, dfg and shit. but unlike everyone here, i am 300% returning to singapore in the future. 300% living in singapore in the future. i need igcse. i can't afford to screw it up.
most of my blogs end with stuff about igcse. like how i gotta go study. like how its stressing me out. like how i need to take a break. it all relates to igcse in some way. im gonna try to end it differently this time.
jeez i dont know how to do this. u know how its weird that if you stop talking, people automatically assume ur finished, but when you continue on and on, they still think ur continuing? so maybe if i stop talking suddenly, it'll mean that this blog is over.
does that make sense? | 
